btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
