we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize