I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
