If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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