Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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