Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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