yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize