Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize