I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
