i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
