Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
