Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize