he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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