At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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