it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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