JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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