what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize