3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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