I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
