Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
