I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
