Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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