i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
