; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
