i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im about as happy as oj after his trial
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
