he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
