Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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