All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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