we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
