Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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