theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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