Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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