my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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