Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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