I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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