ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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