can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
