I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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