Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
