he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize