now i know why i became what i already was.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
