It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
