1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
