I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
