Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize