somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
