My pussy is not your playground.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
