I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
how does that bad decision feel?
His nipple licking is glorious
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