I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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