is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
