If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
