you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
They are going to name an STD after you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
