i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Come see our sink grown plant.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
