dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I love having hate sex.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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