Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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