Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
