I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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