I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
