did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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