he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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