we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
