That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dick very happy bro
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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