Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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