You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize