We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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