I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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