he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize