wat bout pragnant strippers??
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
