Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
