So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
