all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
